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After we experience the broken heart, 

we're often expected to move on.

But, where should we actually move?

Some people describe this as 'ready to fall in love again with someone new'.

It's not absolutely wrong… but, it's not exactly right.

Well, I don't want to be a hypocrite. I mean, I HAD ever described 'move on' as 'date or fall in love with someone new'.

But after some terrible experiences, I finally realized that that kind of 'move on' wouldn't bring me happiness at all.

Well, perhaps at first it WOULD bring me happiness. You know, to have someone that love you, care for you, and so on. You'd feel like you fell in love again, you felt like you were perfect as a woman (or man, perhaps? I don't know who'll read this; anyway), you felt like you could start it all over again, had a second chance, the world would seem so perfect for you, and all that fall-in-love-again kind of things.

But then the same pattern would happen again. You and your 'beloved' would start arguing, and you'd see what you didn't see before, that your 'beloved' wasn't as perfect as you thought, and finally, there would be a point where you or both of you couldn't stand this anymore and you'd separate, either in a good way or not. So now you face the same pain, the same broken heart and the same misery.

I've been there so many times. And if you asked me, why I wanted to experience them all, I wouldn't be able to answer. It's not because I'm a secret-keeper or so, but rather because I don't know the exact answer! Perhaps it was because I wasn't strong enough to stand alone, or my religiosity was so low that I ignored all the rules not to be trapped in that kind of situation. Or maybe it was because I thought he was the right boy (boy, and not man. A man would act more maturely than he did), and I simply loved his attitude (which could actually deceive you somehow), and so on, and so on.

See? There are so many excuses! Too many excuses!

And now I've been tired of facing them all.

I have to admit that, I almost trapped in that situation for one more time.

You know, since our last argument, I felt that my heart was torn into thousands of pieces. He had hurt me so deep and I didn't know when I could move on.

But thank God, I have so many amazing friends that help me through it all and these days, I felt like I was ready to face the same pattern of 'move on'. I had someone to be admired and he seemed so perfect. But then I realized that I didn't want to face the same mistakes and so I tried so bad to hide what I felt. Furthermore, the one I admired was far tooooooooooooo precious to face my pattern of 'move on'. I don't want to trap him or make him confuse. He's a religious man and I don't want to disturb his principles.

Perhaps I can only be his secret admirer, but I think it's better for me than coercing my feelings to grow as love, the temporary love that will soon die. I don't want to make more sins. I am ashamed to Allah and I hope you guys, my beloved friends will understand and support me

Please don't think I'm a hypocrite. I don't want to be a hypocrite and pathetic woman anymore >_<

And along this post, I will attach a note from my sister that had burn my spirit and assured me that I am strong, and I can do it

Komen ce bwt tulisan diatas : hmm… banyak juga yang begini, sering sekali jatuh cinta, entahlah karna memang tak ada respon(n dia nyadar juga tu Cuma angan2) atau memang sudah bosan n ketauan hal yang tidak disukainya pada orang itu ia akan beralih pada yang lebih baik. Well, banyak, banyak yang begini.

Nah, ni note berikut yang dia dibilang…

Semakin kita dewasa, semakin banyak macam orang yang kita temui.
Tidaklah mustahil jika suatu ketika ada satu laki-laki datang kepada kita,untuk mengikat kita,tapi bukan sebagai istri.
Pacar, HTS-an, mengetake kita, apapun itu.

Jika kamu pikir dia adalah laki-laki yang saleh,ketahuilah bahwa orang saleh tidak akan mendahului ketentuan Allah, untuk mencoba-coba berpasangan, sebelum ia bertemu dengan jodohnya.
Sebelum ia betul-betul berpasangan dengan seorang perempuan, di atas janji suci, di hadapan Allah.

Jika kamu pikir dia adalah laki-laki yang baik, ketahuilah bahwa orang yang baik tidak akan menodaimu, dengan zina yang ia torehkan kepadamu.
Orang yang baik pasti tidak akan membiarkan dirimu berhubungan dengannya, agar kamu tetap mempunyai hati yang bersih.

Jika kamu pikir dia adalah laki-laki yang dewasa, ketahuilah bahwa orang dewasa adalah orang yang berani bertanggung jawab atas segala perbuatannya.
Orang yang bertanggung jawab atas apa yang ia lakukan, tidak hanya kepada dirinya dan dirimu saja.
Tapi juga kepada Allah Azza wa Jalla.

Jika kamu pikir dia adalah laki-laki yang pengertian, ketahuilah bahwa orang yang pengertian seharusnya terlebih dulu mengerti akan kedudukannya sebagai makhluk Allah.
Bahwa kewajibannya untuk mengikuti perintah-Nya, menjauhi larangan-Nya, bahkan tidak mendekati apa yang menurutnya syubhat, ya, seperti menjalin hubungan denganmu itu.

Sulit untuk istiqamah, sulit untuk menghindari itu semua.
Tapi semua ini akan kita nikmati dengan indah, apabila kita tetap ingat bahwa Allah satu-satunya kekasih kita.

"Cinta sejati adalah mencoba mengerti, berempati, bersama membina diri, menjadi partner dalam membentuk sebuah tim terbaik yang disebut keluarga."
(Tanri, FK Unpad 08)

mudah2an bisa jadi pengingat untuk kita semua, amiin..
semangat!!!

 

Tulisan ni c ambil dr blog urwatulwutsqa yang diposting sama defitra nanda(FKUI 08)

Speechless ce…

Ehm… ngomen ga ya?eh, td kan udah speechless…tapi gatel juga ni tangan bwt ngomentarin…

Well, masalah yg sensitive nih, ga bisa muna lah…. banyak yang ngalamin, dan ga sedikit yang ga ku-ku, n then.. yah gitu deh.

Trus klo yg ngalamin kita sendiri gimana dunk?

Cinta yang begini, fitrah ini, terkadang menghilangkan akal sehat kita, mengacaukan system control hati kita.

Lalu kita sanggup ga ya mengatasinya?

Bagi sebagian org ni bisa dienyahkan dalam beberapa saat aja, tp ga sedikit juga yang berlarut2 dengan masalah ini.

Seorang akhwat pernah memberitahu c gimana cara ampuhnya melawan keadaan ini.

Sadari sepenuhnya, klo Allah Maha Melihat apa yang kita pbuat, Allah Maha Mendengar walo itu hanya bisikan hati kita, jadi jika kita sudah mulai terasa jengah dengan hal yang salah ini berarti kita sadar klo kyk gitu ga bener n kita merasa malu sama Allah..astaghfirullahal'adzim…

 

Ps: judulnya c inget dr pkataan s'org sahabat yg ktk itu slg mengingatkan